Instead of reeling off one reason after another about why you can’t do something,
why not reel off reason after reason why you can…
It’s a reasonable question, don’t you think..?
It’s so easy to come up with a massive list of reasons why you can’t do something, I know from experience that it’s easy because I’ve been in that place.
It could be any number of reasons…. don’t know how, haven’t got the money, not being good enough, my friends and family will laugh at me, it’s too much hard work, what if I fail, my upbringing, other people, a broken nail…
Ok that last one about a broken nail might not be on the list, but the others are on the list for a lot of people! Do any of them ring a bell with you?
Because it’s so easy to come up with such a long list of reasons, without realizing it, you can actually fall into doing just that and it then allows you to excuse yourself for not being where you want to be.
That’s the key point. The examples I just gave might be valid reasons for being nervous or cautious when approaching an area of personal or professional development, but they are *not* valid excuses for not trying at all.
I find that when I coach people with that idea, the good old “yes but” response kicks in, which leads to simply trotting out the same reasons again!
So, I look at it this way, as the quote says – instead of ‘why you can‘t,’ work on coming up with a list of ‘why you CAN!’
Looking at the examples I gave…
- If you don’t know how, then find out/learn how.
- If you haven’t got the money could there be options to cut back elsewhere,
or open new income streams?
- If you don’t think you’re good enough, that’s a self esteem issue which can
- If you worry that people will laugh at you and it’s possible that people will,
but is your life about pleasing them or about pleasing yourself? Sometimes
personal/professional development means leaving people behind, occasionally
that’s just the way the cookie crumbles.
- If you think it’ll be hard work, then you need to be taking a good look at the real motivations behind your goal in the first place. Get those right and the thought of hard work will not be a problem. It could be that if the prospect of hard work is such a turn off, your goal isn’t really a proper goal of yours at all.
- If you worry about failing, then that’s a case of accepting that in life you don’t
always get guarantees, but even if you fail, trying and failing is always preferable to not trying and everything is a learning experience.
- If you use your upbringing as an excuse, there are many people that have had
really difficult upbringings and have still hit the highest levels of achievement. It’sall about choosing to self educate, and if you are reading this you have an
abundance of information and learning opportunity in front of you.
- Other people? Well, this comes down to taking responsibility onto your *own*
shoulders for what does or does not happen in your life.
Hopefully you can see that while it’s understandable to come up with a list of negative reasons that justify failure, it’s just as easy to come up with a list of positive reasons which allow you to achieve success.
It may seem like just mind games, with no big impact in the real world, but thinking that way is a mistake. It’s what you think in your mind that dictates how you act, and how you act dictates the outcome you get. To change the results, you need to change the actions, which require you to change your thoughts.
Just irrelevant mind games? I don’t think so.
Think about your own reasons for telling yourself why you can’t do something. Most people have them so think of yours. Now re-frame that thinking in the positive and look at how you can see things so you come up with reasons why you can. Feels better, doesn’t it!
For more information about Hazel’s coaching and hypnotherapy programs or to set up a complimentary phone chat email Hazel@HazelPalache.com. You can also register for her new free ebook and receive the Weekly Wisdom to kick-start your week by visiting www.HazelPalache.com